Monday, May 08, 2006

Illegal Immigration - Legal Emigration

This is a response to certain repeated, irritating e-mails about the alleged problems of illegal immigration from someone who should know better.

Illegal Immigration - Legal Emigration – I’ve Been Quiet Until Now

A. Oh Illegal Immigration - Where Is Thy Sting?

New York has always had a reputation of a city that welcomes those who seek freedoms. Although freedom is in short commodity here these days, the people keep coming to New York.

As long as we are the world’s leading economic power, they will keep coming. Even when China overtakes us, somebody from India will think he'll make more money with his delicatessen in New York than New Delhi; somebody from Nigeria will think his future is safer selling phony Louis Vuitton bags in Battery Park; and some wetback will think he's better off delivering my lunch in midtown than to some poor soul in Mexico.

The illusion of America as the will last about twenty years into this era, we have recently entered, an era the economists call Managed Decline.

I’d even wager good money that the Chinese will still cram into cargo containers to get here even after their nation has reached the top of the Global food chain.

So I look around here and have to ask, What’s the problem with all these (insert applicable offensively racist epithet) coming here? We don’t feed them. Don’t clothe them. Don’t house them. Sheesh, we have to educate them - big deal, that costs any of us about four bucks a year. We have to give them health care? So what? They get a shot of antibiotics and go back to work doing my laundry and cleaning my hallway. That’s two bucks per person. How chintzy can you people be?

But they want to sing the Star Spangled Banner in Spanish. Oooooh. You know, seventy five years ago the United States finally got a National Anthem. It wasn’t the anthem anybody wanted (which was My Country ‘Tis Of Thee). It wasn’t the anthem anybody could sing (its melody is from a drinking song and you can only sing drinking songs when you’re drunk). Today, it isn’t the anthem anybody can remember.

B. The Emigration of Employment

The substance of the problem of illegal immigration is a very specific kind of legal emigration.

There was a time when there were both good jobs and skanky jobs to be found in the United States. Citizens got the good jobs. Wetbacks got the skanky. But Managed Decline doesn’t allow for that two-tiered system. Now, most of you compete for the skanky jobs.

Those good jobs, along with entire industries, have left this country for better climates and they will never return.

Myself, I look down on it all from my Ivory Tower on Fifth Avenue and laugh. I laugh hard because I won’t laugh last.

As a small business owner, I’ve been on the front line of the war to keep work (and the half-million dollars that work costs and the jobs that work generates) in this country because no matter how cheaply it can be done elsewhere, it won’t be done as well and certainly not better. Eventually, my clients realize this and prefer to keep the work here in New York.

One day, the sun will set on my profession and hopefully there will be a position open at the newstand in the lobby of my apartment building.

C. The First Amendment

There’s a quaint little notion in this country that reads in part, “Congress shall make no law…abridging the freedom of speech…or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

Oddly, the Founders wrote neither “abridging the freedom of American speech,” nor “the right of Americans peaceably to assemble.” They didn’t even get specific here: “to petition the American Government for a redress of grievances.”

It’s all as we would say today, generic.

That’s because, Our American Constitution doesn’t grant those freedoms. The fact is, all people - not just Americans, and not just people living in the United States, but all people, all people – are born to these freedoms. Our Constitution merely recognizes this fact and guarantees it in writing. Furthermore, Our Constitution asks us to be a people who preserve these guarantees.

Sorry to bring you the bad news: you’re a citizen so you’ve got to uphold the Constitution. That means people you don’t want around, except to pick your iceberg lettuce, still get to meet up around you and bellyache.

And if you don’t like it, don’t let the door hitcha.

D. Don’t Take My Word For It

For those of you who have to answer to an even Higher Authority,
like Republicans who can just start rehearsing their excuses right now, here are two additional qualifiers.

The Second Book of Moses, Called Exodus, Chapter 23, Verse 9
“Also thou shalt not oppress a stranger: for ye know the heart of a stranger, seeing ye were strangers in the land of Egypt.”

The Gospel according to St. Matthew, Chapter 25, verses 41-46
“Then shall He say also unto them on the left hand, ‘Depart from Me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels: for I was ahungered, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.’
“Then shall they also answer Him, saying, Lord, ‘When saw we thee ahungered, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee?’
“Then shall He answer them, saying, ‘Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.’
“And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.”

And I can’t top that.

Mr. Francis Zuccarello
Forming a more perfect union since 1963


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